Jokes, jokes & more jokes!! - Warning - Not safe for work!

[Rusty]

A man and his young son are shopping in Boots and the young lad passes the aisle at the chemist that sells condoms .... he says to his father "What are these dad ?" So his father tells him they are for lovers who want to have safe sex .... "Oh that's good says the boy ... I have heard about these at school in our lessons .... but why are there 3 in a packet ?" His dad says .... "That's for the school boys .. one for Friday night, one for Saturday night and one for Sunday night" ... "Well, why does this packet have SIX in it dad?" .... "That's for the college boys ... 2 for Friday night 2 for Saturday night and 2 for Sunday night" ... "WOW" says the boy who then picks up a pack of 12 ... "And why are there TWELVE in this pack dad?" ..... He sighs and says "This is for the married men .... 1 for January, 1 for February ........

[O.C.]

 

[coman37]

What's Whitney Houston and a spider got in common ??






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They're both black and cant get out the bath !!

Coman

[Winston Smith]

In a twist of fate - Whitney Housten Beat Bobby Brown to Death

Mind you he attempted to top himself, according to reporters he was heard singing "Two Can Play That Game"

[Winston Smith]

In 1872 the Welsh invented the condom using a sheep's bladder.
However, in 1873 the English somewhat refined the idea by taking the bladder out of the sheep first.

[Winston Smith]

[Kwikasfuki]

PMSL 

[slane]

took me 5min before i understood it 

[Lonewolf]

No words required!!

[Mogster]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz_3Y-nKmDw

hahahaha! watch till the end 

[kwarrgtr]

No words required!!

Alright I'll be the first (I cant be the ONLY one can I...) to admit ...... I dont get it, what is it - whats the joke that seems so funny to you fellars???

[Kwikasfuki]

Alright I'll be the first (I cant be the ONLY one can I...) to admit ...... I dont get it, what is it - whats the joke that seems so funny to you fellars???

Really? 

[O.C.]

AUSSIE HUMOUR 

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on the patio, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.

The sheila from next door saw us and was so upset that she came over and yelled at me, "You lazy sod! Sitting there drinking beer while your poor wife pushes that ancient lawn mower around! Get up off your fat backside and give her a break!"

I thought, 'Bloody women!' Took another swig from my stubby, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my sunnies, stared directly at this nosey cow and told her in no uncertain terms to piss off and mind her own business. I told her my wife had green fingers and that she really enjoyed gardening.

After a few days I felt really bad, so I went out and bought her a ride-on mower to show my sensitive side. I'm really proud of the deal I got and also very proud that my wife can now sit down while mowing the lawn. Yes guys, we should take good care of our wives... then maybe they'll take good care of us.

I've attached a picture below

[Rusty]

Excellent Halfords video 

[Winston Smith]

Alright I'll be the first (I cant be the ONLY one can I...) to admit ...... I dont get it, what is it - whats the joke that seems so funny to you fellars???

You are joking of course?!

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