Jokes, jokes & more jokes!! - Warning - Not safe for work!

[Lonewolf]

And I have a feeling he may still be waiting for his Passport,  ;D ;D ;D

[2kwacks]

most of the jokes have told are irish ;) don't want anyone to think I'm picking on them ;D so here's a scouse joke. just to prove I will take the piss out of anyone ;D  see if you can get punch line. should be interesting what you all come up with! will post the punch line a bit later ;)

"WHAT CAN BATMAN DO THAT A SCOUSER CAN'T?

[100milesaway]

Is it Batman goes out with Robin, scousers just go out Robin?

[Lonewolf]

Is it, Batman can go anywhere without Robin?

[2kwacks]

Is it Batman goes out with Robin, scousers just go out Robin? Is it, Batman can go anywhere without Robin?

well there close enough! my punch line would have been"  batman can go out with out robin :)

[100milesaway]

Would anyone like to buy a second hand G-string?!!!!!!!!!!!It has been kept in good nick.    ::)

[Winston Smith]

All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.



"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."


"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."


"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
and insulted him,
so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated,
the legs got wobbly,
the eyes got watery,
and the blood was toxic.
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story?
Even though the others do all the work...
The ass hole is usually in charge

[Boomer]

A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport.

A beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto, 'We love to fly and it shows'.

The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto, 'Winning the hearts of the world'.

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto, 'Going beyond expectations'.

The woman looks at him sternly and says 'What the f**k do you want?'

'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face, "Ryanair".

[2kwacks]

Alsatian,bulldog and a poodle in the vets. bulldog says to the poodle what are you here for, poodle replies I snapped at the owners Mistress. bulldog replies, well thats not to bad you won't get put down for that. the poodle says to the bulldog, what are you in here for. the bulldog replies I keep on trying to bum the mistresses cat. the poodle replies well thats not to bad either, you won't get put down for that. the bulldog and the poodle says to the alsatian, what are you in here for. alsatian replies the masters mistress was getting a bath then she removed her bathrope and was naked, she then bent over to test the water temperature and I could not resist. I jumped on her back and was straight up her! dam said the bulldog and poodle your defo getting put down. ho! no replied the alsatian, I'm here just to get my nails clipped ;D

[Winston Smith]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSJXTe0dl3Y&feature=g-u&context=G208a6faFUAAAAAAAAAA

[Winston Smith]

[Winston Smith]

[2kwacks]

Scouser walks into the dragons den, and shows them a old shotgun and a gamekeepers pouch. peter jones say's "and what's your idea? the scouser replies "it's a simple concept peter, just put the money in the bastard bag ;D

[Kwikasfuki]

[1ka]

This site needs a +1 or Like option, there's some class jokes here.

In the meantime, this is my favourite site, it never fails to make me lol -> Damn you Autocorrect