Jokes, jokes & more jokes!! - Warning - Not safe for work!

[Debs]

The Farmers Daughter.

http://youtu.be/lqxa03Abo3U

[O.C.]

very good Debs, that made oi larff

[O.C.]

Geordie lass 


https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151689683595674&set=vb.660375673&type=2&theater

[Charlie747]

May of been posted before..................


Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin , Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl


about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge . So they stopped.


George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley,


walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to


talk her down off the railing, and says,


"Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"


She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"


While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend"


opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...


why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"


So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ...


and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.


After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies,


the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,


"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey!


That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts.


You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?"


"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."


It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

[Lonewolf]

  I think that might have been on here before but it's still very funny. 

[beegee]

 

[Debs]

Postman Pat... 

http://youtu.be/ADKght3_a18

[Winston Smith]

PMSL!!!!

[Debs]

More Postman Pat 

http://youtu.be/I8F41LVLIW8

[Charlie747]

love it Debs....................how about a bit of john Wayne 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0j8EzXYWzE

[Debs]

See no Evil

Hear no Evil

Speak no Evil ?

Answer: Rohypnol 

[stoketim]

:

Now on sale at IKEA - beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove.

A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related.

Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him.

Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary)

Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".

Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then.. God, I love my new Taser!

Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford.

If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's Spam.

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly.

I've just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in Indian sweat shops. Looking at the quality of stitching on my new trainers the little bastards deserved it!

When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head.. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.

[Lonewolf]

There's some very good jokes there. 

[Charlie747]

There's some very good jokes there. 

[O.C.]

WHO INVENTED SEX?

A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.

Over coffee, the Greek says:
"Well, we built the Parthenon."
The Italian replies:
"We built the Coliseum."
The Greek retorts:
"We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."
The Italian, nodding, says:
"But we built the Roman Empire".

And so on and on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion: with a flourish of finality he says:

"We invented sex!"

The Italian then replies:

"That is true, but it was the Italians who included women...