Here's a light hearted and non political explanation of what's happening :mfr_lol:
Subject : An explanation...... I hope it helps you .....
A brief explanation as to where we stand in our negotiations to leave the European Community .....
I hope it helps to explain things:
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David Davis is cancelling his membership of the golf club. He is at the club returning his locker key when Michel Barnier the membership secretary sees him.
"Hello Mr. Davis," says Mr. Barnier. "I'm sorry to hear you are no longer renewing your club membership, if you would like to come to my office we can settle your account".
"I have already settled my bar bill" says Mr. Davis.
"Ah yes Mr. Davis", says Mr. Barnier, ".....but there are other matters that need settlement"
In Mr. Barnier's office Mr. Davis explains that he has settled his bar bill so he wonders what else he can possibly owe the Golf Club?
"Well Mr Davis" begins Mr Barnier, "you did agree to buy one of our Club Jackets".
"Yes" agrees Mr Davis "I did agree to buy a jacket but I haven't received it yet". As soon as you supply the jacket I will send you a cheque for the full amount".
"That will not be possible." explains Mr Barnier. "As you are no longer a club member you will not be entitled to buy one of our jackets!"
"But you still want me to pay for it" exclaims Mr Davis.
"Yes" says Mr Barnier, "That will be £500 for the jacket. There is also your bar bill".
"But I've already settled my bar bill" says Mr Davis.
"Yes" says Mr Barnier; "But as you can appreciate, we need to place our orders from the Brewery in advance to ensure our bar is properly stocked ..... you regularly used to spend at least £50 a week in the bar so we have placed orders with the brewery accordingly for the coming year. You therefore owe us £2,600 for the year".
"Will you still allow me to have these drinks?" asks Mr Davis.
"No of course not Mr Davis". You are no longer a club member!" says Mr Barnier.
"Next is your restaurant bill" continues Mr Barnier. "In the same manner we have to make arrangements in advance with our catering suppliers. Your average restaurant bill was in the order of £300 a month, so we'll require payment of £3,600 for the next 12 months".
"I don't suppose you'll be letting me have these meals either" asks Mr Davis.
"No, of course not" says an irritated Mr Barnier "You are no longer a club member!"
"Then of course" Mr Barnier continues, "There are repairs to the clubhouse roof."
"Clubhouse roof?" exclaims Mr Davis, "What's that got to do with me?"
"Well it still needs to be repaired and the builders are coming in next week .... your share of the bill is £2,000".
"I see" says Mr Davis, "Anything else?".
"Now you mention it" says Mr Barnier, "There is Fred the steward's pension. We would like you to pay £5 a week towards Fred's pension when he retires next month. He's not well you know, so I doubt we'll need to ask you for payment for longer than about five years, so £1,300 should do it".
"This brings your total bill to £10,000" says Mr Barnier.
"Let me get this straight" says Mr Davis, "you want me to pay £500 for a jacket you won't let me have, £2,600 for beverages you won't let me drink and £3,600 for food you won't let me eat, all under a roof I won't be allowed under and for not being served by a bloke who's going to retire next month!"
"Yes, it's all perfectly clear and quite reasonable." says Mr. Barnier.
"P*ss off!" says Mr. Davis......
Now you understand what the Brexit negotiations are all about.
:-)
Just waiting for the person with enough balls to say "piss off EU".
After every divorce, on one or other side, there is unhappiness, heartbreak and regret!
However, time heals all, and a new life is generally found.... reach for the skies!
OC you forgot to mention the bill for wiping the club computers clean of all the PORN on there. :mfr_lol:
Quote from: zedmeister on December 03, 2017, 07:41:28 PM
OC you forgot to mention the bill for wiping the club computers clean of all the PORN on there. :mfr_lol:
:mfr_lol: I must admit that I'mnot responsible for composing it, it's just a copy and paste
You make a good point though zed :mfr_lol: