Jokes, jokes & more jokes!! - Warning - Not safe for work!

[O.C.]

The teacher asked her class to write down on a piece of paper the type of work their daddies did.
The children, very excitedly, scribbled their answers.
One by one, the teacher asked each child to stand and describe the job.
There was much laughter and screaming, apart from, that is, little Tommy.
"Tommy, why do you lo...ok so sad?" asked the teacher.
Tommy slowly rose to his feet, and replied: "My Dad's a stripper in a gay bar".
The other children remained silent, as Tommy continued:
"Sometimes, he doesn't come home, and my Mummy sits crying. Sometimes, he sells his body for other men's pleasure."
There were gasps around the classroom. The teacher acted quickly and dismissed the children, telling them to go out and play.
She then walked up to little Tommy, put her arm around his shoulders, and asked: "Is all that true, Tommy?"
"No, not at all, Miss. He really plays rugby for England, but I was too embarrassed to say"


Richard << running for cover 

After last weekends 'display'I can understand the young lads embarrasment 

You could be on thin ice with that one with some members on here though Richard 

BTW I think Gareth Thomas misunderstood the request "are you coming out to play today Gareth"   

[Silverback]

The teacher asked her class to write down on a piece of paper the type of work their daddies did.
The children, very excitedly, scribbled their answers.
One by one, the teacher asked each child to stand and describe the job.
There was much laughter and screaming, apart from, that is, little Tommy.
"Tommy, why do you lo...ok so sad?" asked the teacher.
Tommy slowly rose to his feet, and replied: "My Dad's a stripper in a gay bar".
The other children remained silent, as Tommy continued:
"Sometimes, he doesn't come home, and my Mummy sits crying. Sometimes, he sells his body for other men's pleasure."
There were gasps around the classroom. The teacher acted quickly and dismissed the children, telling them to go out and play.
She then walked up to little Tommy, put her arm around his shoulders, and asked: "Is all that true, Tommy?"
"No, not at all, Miss. He really plays rugby for England, but I was too embarrassed to say"


Richard << running for cover 

Was just looking at the results for the Rugby World Cup since its inauguration in '87, you know, winners, losing finalists, 3rd/4th places......   Nuff said....

Mind you, i'll grant you, they were f***ing awful last weekend, Wales def deserved that one

[Winston Smith]

I asked my scouse mate why he only spent £3.00 on his mum for her birthday.

"That's all she had in her purse" he replied

[O.C.]

Does anybody else find this guy funny, I reckon he's bloody hilarious 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sGh6ATXqbk

[Lonewolf]

Never heard of the guy, just watched the clip, he's pretty funny but I do like Michael McIntyre, now he is funny.

[Ros]

[O.C.]

Only in Yorkshire 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEHHkx929T8

[Boomer]

Cool,... a convertible caravan! 

[Lonewolf]

I forwarded that to everyone on our team today, we all had a good laugh.

[Rusty]

Margaret Thatcher arrived at the Purely Gates to be greeted by St Peter.
" I am afraid we are not quite ready for you yet " he said ..." We shall have to send you back for a couple of days "
In a puff of smoke Margaret was returned to Westminster and 10 minutes later Abu Quatada was on a plane back to Jordan.

[Winston Smith]

 

Brilliant!!

[hurricane]

Never heard of the guy, just watched the clip, he's pretty funny but I do like Michael McIntyre, now he is funny.

Guy's been around for ages. Is always one of the best acts down here at comedy festivals.

[garfield1974]

- Do you speak english?
- Yes.
- Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style.
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run to fast!!!

[Richard]

    

[garfield1974]